Windows 7

I installed Ultimate on one of the PCs & Home Premium on the laptop. Well the PC only has 512 ram & it does run a little slow with 7 on it, but the laptop runs like a dream. I love it, but I hate the fact there is no mail apart from live mail ( a quick download) and that client sucks, but apart from that...... 5 stars.


BTW I am now off work for a while due to my back, no idea when I will be going back. Not good on my end cause I can't stand the pain. Even Panadine Forte (2 tabs) don't take the edge off the pain, just makes me feel high.

Busy

Busy, busy little me. No time for rest, no time to play...just no time for anything. I spent the last 4 days on my feet having to stay walking cause I can't stand or sit for any length of time.... why? Cause I hurt my back at work & standing only makes it worse. I was almost in tears at work last week, but when I mention anything it gets shrugged off. Not going to be a good week this week... I can see it. If I cry then they are in trouble. It really does hurt.

1st day back.

Well I survived..... just. My 1st day (or should that be night?) back at work. Tired ain't the word I am looking for. Not today.... last night. OMG I was so tired that I was actually just standing there staring into space for a while. Not a good thing when a custome comes up to be served & your standing there with a blank look lol. But now I feel fine. I had 7 hours sleep & I feel better. I actually feel more energized that I did while I was on holidays.... but give it time. Thursday I will be wrecked & not able to stay focused.

I was a little stressed out yesterday as you could tell from my last post. I wonder who the bigger child is here.... them or ME? How childish did I sound in that last post. I guess we all got some growing up to do still.

I had enough.

Enough already. I had enough of being made to feel like the baddie in this place, enough of being in the middle of a war between Michael & Matthew. Michael say's it's like caring for a baby, well talking to Michael is like talking to a child...so where is the difference? I find them both immature & downright nasty some days, but at least Matthew is only 16...he has that excuse of REALLY being immature. Michael on the other hand is 41... what's his excuse.

I had enough. Either they both quit acting like the world owes them & start ACTING THEIR AGES or I bloody go & they can take care of themselves.

I have to go to work, not because I want to, because I have to in order for us to survive. I only work 15 hours a week but it's now at the point where even that is to long for them to be left together. If they don't smarten up I will go get full-time employment & then move out on my own.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH ALREADY.

Going back??? Already!

I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I don't want to go back there ever. Is it possible I now have a phobia or an anxiety disorder just from working there? Would be just my luck. I am trying to keep my mind off it, but with 30 hours before I go back it's really starting to stress me out. Not a good start at all. I worked out it will take a whole year before I get holidays again.... not good.

Home alone.

For the 1st time in 4 weeks, I have the house to myself. It's horribly quiet & I am terribly bored.

I must have changed the theme for this blog about 12 times in the past hour & now I am happy with it. God help me if I get a tattoo....I'll hate the design within 5 mins & need to get a new one done. Tattooed lady better watch out, I will be done in a day with the way I change my mind. ROFL.

So what am I going to do? All the housework is done, I have had lunch & there is nothing on TV. I could catch up on some sleep, but then I can't sleep during the day. I can see myself going back to work on Monday night a complete wreck. Good way to start back.

Following me.

I deleted that post about my 3 guilts in my life because what if peole who follow me don't like what I write? I admit it kinda was a bad thing to post about so if you read it.... look at this spot            yep this one              & you will forget all about it. Did you forget? Good let's keep it that way lol. 

I could delete & start again, but then peole still have that image in their mind of a stupid woman with nothing better to do. What do I do then. You know I don't even know why I started this bloging thing, it's not llike my life is interesting, funny or worth anything.

I was hoping to make people see the real side of life, the not always nice side, but I think I may just have killed all chances of even being liked. Oh well, not much I can do about that.

It's up to you if you want to follow what I write, if you decide that I am a little over the top for you then please feel free to go.... but please just remember that life is not always roses, I just happen to say it as I see it :)

Beads anyone?

This is an older beaded bracelet I did. I love this one. I wish I could wear it but things like this dont suit me at all. But I just wanted to lighten the mood in here & show people exactly what I am capable of when I get the inspriation. This may not look all that great I suppose but it's all glass & it catches the light really well.

If you don't know me by now.......

Alrighty then,  so by now you think I am loopy/crazy or just plain boring. That's fine, I guess I am. But this is ME. This is my way of getting what I need to say out there & hopefully not have anyone think any less of me for it. I get my down days, my really down days & then I get my normal days with some brilliant days thrown in just to keep me sane. I suffer from depression and sometimes it takes control & stuffs me right up. But that's delt with by some relaxation (was medication once till I was passing out) and some time on here.

I am not all doom & gloom though. For example, today is a GRREAT day. No arguing in the house for once, everyone in a good mood & Matthew (son) at school hopefully enjoying plaing guitar hero (again) in class....wish I had a class like that at school ... lol

Michael (hubby) is at the moment in the shower & we are getting ready to do our normal Thursday lunch date with each other (have not missed one in 13 years) and then get some shopping for an eldery friend of ours who is a bit sick at the moment.

See it's a good day. I might even drag out the beads 'cause I have an idea stuck in my head for a great pair of earrings.

Shocked yet?

Ok so yesterdays post was a bit of a shocker & that's how it is when I get down. I know that my co-workers are able to read this & I hope they don't think different of me at all because of what I say. I am still the same person they work with & should just see me for who I am.

Moving on, today is a better day. Relaxing a bit today & staying out of that freezing cold wind outside. I tell ya, when that wind decides it's coming from Tasmania rather than inland.....it's C O L D. Who would think it's almost Summer? 15.5 deg C & I am supposed to like it? I don't think so.... ice-cream would have more fun.

I was thinking of finally getting back into some beading today... but lack the inspriation for it. That's no surprise. It's been about a year since I made anything & that bums me out a bit. I was flying with beading once, not anymore & I got enough stuff to open a shop.

To work or not to work!

At the moment I am on paid leave from work. It took me a year to save enough leave to take 4 weeks straight off work, I love it. I am at the end of week 3 & I am not sure I want to return. My job is not glamorous, nor is it mind thrilling….I am a checkout chick. Service Assistant is the ‘official’ term but checkout chick is more what it feels like.
I work 3 nights a week, for 5 hours each time. Yeah so 15 hours a week is not a lot, but it is enough to get buy. With my son having to be cared for (more about that another time) & my depression, it’s not that easy to even do the 15 hours however I do struggle on.
I love the getting out of the house bit about work, the earn more money part…. but I can’t stand working there. I would rather jump off the Westgate Bridge half the time rather than turn up. I would rather still work at Luna Park then this job…. at least there I was respected & liked.
Now the question before me is this. I can either go back to work in just over a weeks time, go back to rude customers & a boss who really does not like me OR I can still do the same job just get a transfer closer and work with new people OR I can totally quit my job, hope to god one day I can still get a job again, and stay home to be a full time carer.
What am I going to decide? I have looked constantly for 3 weeks for a new job, even applied at ALDI (I don’t meet the requirements to sit down on the job they say) but I can’t get another job at all.

ROFL

Sorry about the title. At the moment I am sitting at my faithful laptop position in the kitchen (on the breakfast bench) & listening to Michael as he watched the NRL Grand Final….. ROFL is the only thing I could think of. How is it that a man of 41 can get so excited that he is actually screaming at the TV? We live in Melbourne, but he hates the only Melbourne team…the one that also happens to be in the match. Actually we all don’t like Melbourne Storm, and will happily cheer for any team playing them at the time, but it gets me how excited he gets. Last year the same team got beaten 40 – 0 & we loved it, but nothing like this time. This time Michael is screaming at the box…… ROFL indeed.

Day 1?

So here I am, sitting at my faithful laptop trying to think. About what? Who knows, but still trying to think is a good thing right? I had this plan that I was going to be a writer, but I don’t think that will happen considering I have no drive, no life & basically no time. But then stranger things have happened.
So I downloaded Windows Live Writer, installed it, made a space & wrote this. Where it takes me I guess I don’t know yet, all I know is that I am sitting here trying not to think now. Trying not to think about what? Who knows. Perhaps I am trying not to think about how I go here, to this point in time, without being more of a train wreck than I already am.
I woke up today & just knew it would be the same as yesterday, the same as the day before that & the day before that, it will also be the same today as it will be tomorrow. That’s sad. Really it is.

At the moment I am on paid leave from work. It took me a year to save enough leave to take 4 weeks straight off work, I love it. I am at the end of week 3 & I am not sure I want to return. My job is not glamorous, nor is it mind thrilling….I am a checkout chick. Service Assistant is the ‘official’ term but checkout chick is more what it feels like.
I work 3 nights a week, for 5 hours each time. Yeah so 15 hours a week is not a lot, but it is enough to get buy. With my son having to be cared for (more about that another time) & my depression, it’s not that easy to even do the 15 hours however I do struggle on.
I love the getting out of the house bit about work, the earn more money part…. but I can’t stand working there. I would rather jump off the Westgate Bridge half the time rather than turn up. I would rather still work at Luna Park then this job…. at least there I was respected & liked.
Now the question before me is this. I can either go back to work in just over a weeks time, go back to rude customers & a boss who really does not like me OR I can still do the same job just get a transfer closer and work with new people OR I can totally quit my job, hope to god one day I can still get a job again, and stay home to be a full time carer.
What am I going to decide? I have looked constantly for 3 weeks for a new job, even applied at ALDI (I don’t meet the requirements to sit down on the job they say) but I can’t get another job at all.