So here I am, sitting at my faithful laptop trying to think. About what? Who knows, but still trying to think is a good thing right? I had this plan that I was going to be a writer, but I don’t think that will happen considering I have no drive, no life & basically no time. But then stranger things have happened.
So I downloaded Windows Live Writer, installed it, made a space & wrote this. Where it takes me I guess I don’t know yet, all I know is that I am sitting here trying not to think now. Trying not to think about what? Who knows. Perhaps I am trying not to think about how I go here, to this point in time, without being more of a train wreck than I already am.
I woke up today & just knew it would be the same as yesterday, the same as the day before that & the day before that, it will also be the same today as it will be tomorrow. That’s sad. Really it is.
So I downloaded Windows Live Writer, installed it, made a space & wrote this. Where it takes me I guess I don’t know yet, all I know is that I am sitting here trying not to think now. Trying not to think about what? Who knows. Perhaps I am trying not to think about how I go here, to this point in time, without being more of a train wreck than I already am.
I woke up today & just knew it would be the same as yesterday, the same as the day before that & the day before that, it will also be the same today as it will be tomorrow. That’s sad. Really it is.
At the moment I am on paid leave from work. It took me a year to save enough leave to take 4 weeks straight off work, I love it. I am at the end of week 3 & I am not sure I want to return. My job is not glamorous, nor is it mind thrilling….I am a checkout chick. Service Assistant is the ‘official’ term but checkout chick is more what it feels like.
I work 3 nights a week, for 5 hours each time. Yeah so 15 hours a week is not a lot, but it is enough to get buy. With my son having to be cared for (more about that another time) & my depression, it’s not that easy to even do the 15 hours however I do struggle on.
I love the getting out of the house bit about work, the earn more money part…. but I can’t stand working there. I would rather jump off the Westgate Bridge half the time rather than turn up. I would rather still work at Luna Park then this job…. at least there I was respected & liked.
Now the question before me is this. I can either go back to work in just over a weeks time, go back to rude customers & a boss who really does not like me OR I can still do the same job just get a transfer closer and work with new people OR I can totally quit my job, hope to god one day I can still get a job again, and stay home to be a full time carer.
What am I going to decide? I have looked constantly for 3 weeks for a new job, even applied at ALDI (I don’t meet the requirements to sit down on the job they say) but I can’t get another job at all.
I work 3 nights a week, for 5 hours each time. Yeah so 15 hours a week is not a lot, but it is enough to get buy. With my son having to be cared for (more about that another time) & my depression, it’s not that easy to even do the 15 hours however I do struggle on.
I love the getting out of the house bit about work, the earn more money part…. but I can’t stand working there. I would rather jump off the Westgate Bridge half the time rather than turn up. I would rather still work at Luna Park then this job…. at least there I was respected & liked.
Now the question before me is this. I can either go back to work in just over a weeks time, go back to rude customers & a boss who really does not like me OR I can still do the same job just get a transfer closer and work with new people OR I can totally quit my job, hope to god one day I can still get a job again, and stay home to be a full time carer.
What am I going to decide? I have looked constantly for 3 weeks for a new job, even applied at ALDI (I don’t meet the requirements to sit down on the job they say) but I can’t get another job at all.
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