Nov 30, 2011

Smelly people suck.

Please help me. I'm stuck on the community bus and sitting 30cm away from me is a woman who stinks, like STINKS.  I can't do anything about it. The window can't be open because it's raining and the smell is horrible.

This woman doesn't have more than one set of clothing. So that is ONE tshirt ,shorts, socks, jumper.  She wears them all the time. You can SEE the smell. Try sitting near it. :-\

People have told her.  She claims to not have enough money to get some more clothing at all. But she can afford to pay for top dollar food from the shops.

I'm sure that I am dying here, please help me.


I'm awake now because I just woke from a nightmare. One that seemed so real that I woke up screaming a strange scream. I have to get this out so I can go back to sleep.

All the lights were playing up in the house. When they finally came on properly everything in the house came on.  Tv, radio ..... you name it.  So I asked for some help to turn everything off.  For some reason we had a really big home with many many rooms.  So I turned off everything in my sons room first, then went to the bathroom.  Funny cause I can't remember having a bathroom with a spa and never using it. So as I opened the door to make sure everything was off, the door kept pushing against me. Like you would if you didn't want someone to walk in on you. I looked down and saw a young boy,about eight or so....laying on the ground.  I have no idea who he was or if he was alive.  I  just wanted to scream for help. .

I woke up screaming instead.  Took this long just to calm down a little. But still not convinced that it was a dream.  I  have NEVER woken up like that before in my life ... I  am shaken by this .....

Now you know why I had to write it down.  I hope it's not real.

Nov 26, 2011

I'm ready.

Please, I know I am ready. I'm sure that I am ready. It is my turn to be able to wear a new size of clothing. I'm going to have the best looking body that I have ever had before.

I'm ready for that .

But why is it so bloody hard to get there? Why am I having a hard time getting up to the challenge? All the motivation is there, but I still don't know why I can't do it.

I'm eating better than ever before, I am exercising more than I did when I was younger and fitter. I'm at the point of no return.  But I still don't know why.


Nov 24, 2011

Games & my son.

Please note that I don't like games at all, not the violent role playing ones where the object of the game is to hurt as many people as possible.

My son however LOVES them. Like totally loves them. Addicted is not the word I would use. More than that. We don't even have anything to play them on. So why is he so obsessed with them?

Why are most men obsessed with them and what would they rather do instead?


Nov 16, 2011


This view is what I see each and every day. It is my beach here in Port Melbourne and despite it being a kinda grubby beach the view is something I love.

The beach itself is yuk. After the Victorian government decided to dredge Port Philip Bay, the water has had some very funky seaweed that came from the bottom of the bay and washes up onto the beach. It is red in colour. It smells badly on some days &you would rather not swim in the water at all.

But like I said before, the view is totally to die for.


Nov 15, 2011

Spiders are not my friends.

Please note that I don't like spiders at all. I have a phobia out of this world about them.  It all started when I was only eight years old, and I had just gotten out of the shower and put my nighty on. I was about to brush my teeth when all of the sudden I felt something near my chest. I looked down and saw the biggest huntsman spider in my life. I screamed so loud that mum came running into the bathroom. She saw the spider and in her attempt to rid me of it she hit it towards ground. But it didn't fall off and hung on, went up under my nighty and started to crawl up the inside of it. You have never seen anyone get undressed so fast. In one swift movement I was naked and running away down the hallway to my bedroom.

I never got over that at all. My phobia started right then and there.

It was not helped years later by my sons father who decided to chase me around with a dead spider thinking it was funny. I broke up with him over that.  Bastard.

People can't understand why the fear is so bad. But I know why. And today confirmed it .....
I was bitten by a small one today when I took the washing back in. It somehow managed to get in to my bra.... don't ask how cause I don't know why ....and it bit me twice .....ON THE FREAKIN BOOB. It still hurts now and I hate spiders even more than I did before.

Nov 7, 2011


I'm at the doctor's today for my monthly appointment. Have to come here for a workcover certificate each month. I would rather be at work than injured. But instead they have me studying online. Bloody great cause I can't sit or stand for more than a few minutes at a time. So trying to study for even an hour is very hard. But I will try.

So back to the doctor. I'm am outside waiting for my appointment that is at 11:00. I'm standing against a tree that is right outside and watching the world go by.  There is a dog further down near the library that is howling like crazy. I wish people would not tie up their animals like that. If you're going out and know you're going to be a while DON'T TAKE YOUR DOG. It's not fair on the dog at all.

Sorry that is my pet hate. It gets me so mad.

Nov 6, 2011

New phone, but no study.

I'm not sure why I am going so slowly with my study for work. I am trying to keep up with this timeframe that they set me, but I am finding it difficult with my ADHD. I'm trying my best, really I am. :-(  It has always been hard for me to study even at school.

I am doing a business administration course, somthing that I didn't want to study. I have no choice or interest in it at all. That makes the study even harder than before, as I just don't get motivated into it.  Help!

Anyway on a new note, I have a new phone. I stuffed the last one, but then son discovered that I had just put the sim card upside down lol. So I had purchased a new phone for nothing. I got a Samsung Mini. I despise touch phones, but somthing about this one got me. I have a ton of applications and one of them is a keyboard app. So much easier to type than normal cause I just type in one letter and it suggests a whole word. It is like it reads my mind. A.I type keyboard app is great. I'm trying out the free version at the moment but will be buying the paid version very soon.

It has taken me next to no time to type this out at all and all on my phone. Yay.

*wonder if they will give me the paid app for nothing since I am plugging it here*