Strange question to be asking myself isn't it? I wake up feeling not quite right, but as the day drags on.... and I do mean D R A G S on... I start to feel more & more not quite right. For some reason I can never put my finger on it, nor do I have a clue what's wrong.
Perhaps it could be the fact that I have not worked at all for almost 2 years. Perhaps it could be just being bored. Could it be just a combination of things?
I don't have any friends in real life, as in go for a coffee kind of friends. I don't make friends easily at all, so that part becomes harder. I don't leave the house alot since I got hurt & perhaps have developed a little anxiety over that. I hate being in the house alone, yet don't want anyone near me for fear of either fighting with them or just making them as miserable (or whatever 'it' is) as me.
I could be just down, I could be just hormonal. Who knows. But without me knowing what it is & why I'm like this, then I'm betting there will be no way to get back to being me. Back to being someone other than a back injury. Someone other than nothing.
All I have is this blog, that nobody reads. The blog that nobody cares about. The blog that most of the world does not know about. This is what my life has been reduced to. Sad? Could be perceived that way to some I guess. But to me, it's just a way to get my thoughts out there, to stop them from being in my head, clogging up my world. Cause we all know that it's already got enough problems to deal with. Right?
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