I'm over the bullshit. Over the crap that I have to deal with. I'm not listened to at all by anyone. I'm sick of all the shitty things outnumbering the good. I'm tired of being so sore that I just can't get the willpower to get out of bed without effort.
I'm over it all.
Some days I just wish I'd stop breathing & that would make it easier on everyone.
Who would have thought that being a parent would be so damn hard? I remember when I was pregnant and I was excited about it and being a parent. Then the moment I became one, my life changed. In a big way and that's to be expected. But what happened to me being me? I became mum. It got hard from that point on.
Now that he's an adult you would think that I'd get back to being me more. But it just gets harder.
Here I am standing in the kitchen at 2am, listening to the wind outside. So very strong and so very loud. I love listening to it, but hate the damage it can do.
I have no idea who I am. I don't know what it's like to have a pain free day. I can't remember. My life is under attack from myself.
I babble about anything. But don't worry about it, despite the fact it's the truth, it just means I don't feel right at all. It'll be tough, but good for me to deal with it. Whatever IT is.
Relax. Take a breath. Think of a happy place. I am in my own bubble. For a while anyway.
Please note that I don't endorse bad vibes but lol.
I guess you have read my post about son and his music, the fact he subjects me to it often. If you have not read it then go to the MUST YOU DO THAT post 1st.
Ok. You should have read it by now. You see the story. Here's a little extra.
Matthew decided to play some again and it was not what I expected.
Katy friggin Perry ........ are you friggin kidding me? I had to laugh. Here is a small time metal kid, and he pulls a Katy Perry on me?
What is next? The Wiggles? Pmsl. Sorry but I just had to laugh about it. There was no point in this case doing anything else. I had to write about it.
